The ABC's of ME, ME, ME!!!

Thank you, Sarah, for the needed levity. My blog has been teetering on the "way too serious" for a bit. Good to break it up a little :).

A- Attached or Single?

Attached ~ celebrated our 17th engagement anniversary Halloween Night :)

B- Best Friend?

It's cliche, but Christina really is my best friend. Being married to her is a fantastic bonus.

C- Cake or Pie?

Tough call... Carribean sweet potato pudding is sort of in between, but it is my all time favorite.

D- Day of Choice?

Sunday, because I can tell the rest of the world to "stuff it" (yeah, I know, not exactly the best response, but I do love the fact that I have one day that I can ahare totally with the Lord and my family and tell everyone else to butt out (LOL!).

E- Essential Items?

iRiver T30 for music, Portable DVD player for movies on the train, and wheat grass braids hanging from my rear view mirror for good luck (I'm such a faux NDN (LOL!) ).

F- Favorite Color?

Hunter Green and Nuclear Orange

G- Gummy Bears or Worms?

Swedish Fish... I kick it old school ;)

H- Hometown?

Danville, CA


I- Favorite Indulgence?

Sushi. To excess (LOL!)

J- January or July?

You can't snowboard in the Northern Hemisphere in July :)

K- Kids?

Got three, adore them all, though some days are a lot more creative and interesting compared to others (LOL!).

L- Life isn't complete without?

A group hug from my kids and a kiss and snuggle with Christina (be warned, I get *very* sappy when it comes to Christina... of course anyone who knows me already knows this ad nauseum (LOL!) )

M- Marriage date?

December 5th, 1992

N- Number of brothers and sisters?

1 brother, 2 sisters

O- Oranges or Apples?

I much prefer oranges to apples. I much prefer pears to both, though.

P- Phobias and Fears?

No real phobias that I am aware of. My biggest fear is and has always been somehow not being able to take care of my family.

Q - Quiet time, what do you like to do?

read, watch various DVD's, bust out the Pow Wow craft kit and tackle some new project that I want to do.

R- Reason to smile?

White Otter danced on Saturday Night, and one of my newest Arrowman made his debut on the drum.

S- Season of choice?

Winter. Snowboarding is the clarion call to my soul (well, OK, not really, but I do dig it ever so much :) ).

T- Ticklish?

Yes, violently so. Loved ones know not to try to tickle me, because there is always the unintended consequence that I may really lash out if they try (of course, one of my favorite pleasures in the world is chasing my kids down and tickling them, so this makes me the world's biggest hypocrite :) ).

U- Unknown fact about me?

You can hear my voice in a popular video game (Karaoke Revolution, I provided the guide vocal to the song "China Grove")

V- Vegetable?

I'm a big fan of the three sisters (corn, beans and squash)

W- Worst Habit?

Procrastination

X-ray or Ultrasound?

Let's hope I don't need more of either! (i'm keeping Sarah's answer :) )

Y- Your favorite food?

Hmmm... that would be a three way tie between sushi, thai pompano and Indian Fry Bread

Z- Zodiac Sign?

Greek/Roman Zodiac: Saggittarius, the archer (fits my personality perfectly)
Asian Zodiac: Year of the Ram (also fits me perfectly :) )

Alright my friends, GO FORTH and MUTIPLY and share the ABC's about YOU!

Happy All Saint's Day :)

Halloween 2008 has officially come and gone. Some highlights of this year's festivities:




Nick and his pal, Jessie, and their campy approach to the whole Twilight Edward/Jacob thing... and no, I have no control whatsoever anymore when it comes to my son's costumes (LOL!).


Karina putting the sass on!




Amber as a kitty cat... *the* perfect costume for this little one. She stayed in character just about the entire night ;).


And of course, what would Halloween be without the obligatory tormenting of the family pet. Rikku was a good sport through all of this, to be honest.

We brought the kids around the Crestmoor neighborhood for the better part of two hours (and it was a mob scene this year; seriously, between Charleston and Kingston, I thought it was a street party. I've *never* seen it this crowded in our neighborhood!) Nick and Jessie decided to go their own way, and since they are old enough now to make that decision, we complied (they ended up hanging out at Jessie's house after Trick or Treating until well after I was in bed). The girls and I went around the neighborhood from 7:00 PM until just before 9:00 PM, at which point, Amber was complaining her bag was too heavy to carry anymore (sure sign that it's time to call it a night). We have a standing rule in the house; exch kid gets to pick 25 pieces of their choice, the rest goes into a big bag that Dad takes back to work. My kids are slowly realizing that this is not my way of punishing them (they can keep the best of the best, and I don't stop them from doing that). My co-workers, though, *dread* seeing me come in the day or Monday after Halloween, because they know this *huge* bowl of candy will be on the break room table. Funny, but it never seems to be there for very long (LOL!).

Oh, and for those keeping track, I took second place in my company's costume competitoopn. that now has me at 2 1st place wins and 2 second place wins. I'm only allowed three wins, at which point I join the "Gallery of the Greats" and I am no longer eligible to compete. So I have another chance to grab the coveted third win... and yes, I've already started planning my costume for next year :).

Well, here's wishing everyone a happy All Saints Day, and wishing all a happy sugar hangover recovery as well.

A Halloween To Remember :)

Halloween is a special day in my life, more so than perhaps only a handful of other holidays and special anniversaries. You see, Halloween is the day that I proposed to Christina back in 1991. Now this should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone who knows me (of course Michael and Christina got engaged on Halloween!), but what’s not so readily known is the circumstances that led up to that momentous declaration and decision, and the somewhat serendipitous way that it happened. Over the years I’ve been both lauded and excoriated for the way I did this (LOL!), and the story has taken on a life of its own over the years as well, so I wanted this HAlloween to set the record straight, once and for all, as to what happened, how it came about, and what ultimately resulted (well, one of the results you already know about… Christina was crazy enough to marry me, for which I will be eternally grateful :) ).

So let’s set the way back machine for Halloween Day, 1991.. It was going to be a day unlike any other, but earlier in the day, I figured it was going to be unique because, for the first time in many years, I was not scheduled to play a show, promote for a show, or somehow be involved with another friend’s band in putting on a show. For once, I decided I wanted to clear the calendar that Halloween, celebrate Christina’s recent arrival in her apartment in San Mateo, and be the happy little domestic couple giving out candy to little kids who would Trick or Treat. After a couple of hours, we realized that nobody was coming to the door. As we walked out and saw some people gathered on the common porch, we asked where the Trick or Treaters were. The people laughed and said “nobody trick or treats the houses and apartments around here… everyone goes to Hillsdale Mall and does their Trick or Treating there!” Hmmm… I must admit I’d never considered that, and it did sound a little odd to me, but hey, when in Rome… so we decided to grab our coats and head down to Hillsdale so we could see what the kids were doing. Besides, I was willing to bet that the mall was probably done up quite well for the occasion.

As we arrived at Hillsdale Mall, we watched the little (and not so little) Trick or Treater’s run about from store to store and gather up candy, treats and other items (not to mention a rather brisk business at several of the novelty stores for last minute costumes). It was here where I chuckled and said “huh, I wonder if I’ll ever bring my kids to a mall to Trick or Treat”. Christina and I joked about that idea, and somehow that little side comment about trick or treaters morphed into a conversation about having kids and about marriage in general. Now, I wasn’t at that moment all that keen on bringing up the topic of marriage, because at the time I was quite broke, making very little money, and carrying a load of debt. I didn’t particularly see myself as stable husband material at that particular moment. As Christina asked me at what point I could see getting married, I said a very honest “oh, three to four years, realistically.” After I said that, I looked at Christina, and she had an expression that would not be out of place had I directly slapped her. She stammered “f-f-four *years*?!” I tried to explain why, and how it just seemed so unrealistic at this stage, when something deep down told me:

“Michael, shut up. Now! Christina has just told you something major here… she doesn’t care about your financial situation, she doesn’t care about how suited you feel you are to be a husband… she just telegraphed to you in huge block letters that she wants to marry you! YOU! And she doesn’t want to wait four years for that experience. Be a man and step up!”

With this realization, I had to find a way to really make sure I was reading the situation right, so I immediately changed tactics and said “Hey, I have an idea… let’s go and, for the fun of it, see what kind of a ring you might like. I mean, we are here, and the mall is open late tonight… c’mon, it’ll be fun.” With that, we decided to go and take a look at the dozen or so jewelry stores that were in Hillsdale Mall at that time. We looked at lots of different styles, and many of them were, while nice, just nothing that screamed out to either of us “oh yeah, that one”… until we came to a Zales Jewelers on the bottom level. Over in the corner was a small display and in it was a neat looking ring with a bunch of very small diamonds surrounding a center stone, all on an asymmetrically angled ring. This was the one that Christina couldn’t take her eyes off of. I liked it, too because it was unique; truly different than anything else we had seen. Her eyes lit up and her smile was all I had to see.

I asked the lady behind the counter if we could have a closer look at the offset ring with the slightly angled band. She brought it out and Christina tried it on. As I saw her smile widen, we had the following exchange:

“So, you like *that* one, huh?”
“Oh yes, very much!”
“Really, you don’t think it’s a little odd looking?”
“Oh no, I like it so much. It’s unique. I’ve never seen another one like it. If I had to choose a ring, I’d *definitely* choose this one.”
“You’re sure about that?”
“Yes, I’m completely sure!”
“I’m glad to hear that… Maam? Yes, thank you very much for your time… we’ll take it!”

As the lady behind the counter thanked me for agreeing to purchase the ring, we had to make a decision on payment. I told her I’d make a 20% down payment, and finance the rest (for my long time readers, this was before my financial epiphany, so yes, you’re going to cringe at my saying this, but yes, I did finance the ring… it was a spur of the moment decision, after all). I decided to go with the classic De Beers philosophy of two months of salary for an engagement/wedding ring, and fortunately, this particular ring fit in that philosophy and price range :).

As she handed me a loan application, and as I was filling it out, Christina’s expression went from smiling, to looking at me quizzically, to showing genuine concern, to complete and total alarm. She realized what I was doing, and that I was actually following through with purchasing the ring she was looking at. She would nudge me and say “um, what are you doing?” I of course, decided I was not going to answer. She looked at me again and said “are you doing what I think you’re doing?!” Again, no answer. At this point, I started whistling (yes, I know, but I really was having fun at this particular point in time, and the anxiety of the situation was actually quite entertaining :) ).

When the lady came back and said “OK, all is in order and your loan has been approved”, I thanked her, removed the ring from Christina’s finger, put it in the box that they gave me, and I stuck the ring in my pocket. I suggested that we should probably leave. Christina just nodded and followed me, looking a little like a deer caught in the headlights. As we were walking into the main courtyard of the mall, I suggested that we should go to our favorite little sushi haunt near her apartment (Isobune on Burlingame Avenue).

We drove over to the sushi place with a little Peter Murphy playing in the background (symbolic, yes, as the album “Deep” was one of the first things we listened to on our first date roughly a year earlier) and we walked in and asked for one of the booth tables. As we sat down and ordered, I looked up and there was Christina, looking at me with an expression that told me she really couldn’t take it anymore. As I talked about what an interesting night it had been, such fun at the mall, such cute costumes, and now here we were at one of our favorite places, it just seemed like the night was going so wonderfully. Still, for some odd reason, I felt like I was forgetting something… what could it be?

At which point, the “Kelly trademark smirk” made its appearance, and I said “oh yes, now I remember…”. I reached into my jacket pocket, pulled out the ring, opened the box up, got down on one knee in the aisle and said the following:

“Christina, you have put up with a lot regarding me. Some might say I’ve put up with a lot regarding you, too. Tonight I realized that we both want to do this, and we don’t want to wait until everything is perfect. We want to go fir it right here and right now. In front of all of these people, and all of this dead fish, I hereby ask that you marry me. I can’t guarantee that we will be rich, I can’t guarantee that we will always be comfortable, but I hereby promise that life will never be boring. I love you and, please say yes!”

She did, I slipped the ring on her finger, we kissed… and the whole restaurant clapped.

And with that, Christina and Michael were “semi-officially” engaged. We were officially engaged two days later when I made the formal request of her father (old country Germans and Austrians tend to take this seriously, and so did I. I was relieved to hear him say in his thick Austrian accent “thank you very much for asking, I’ll gladly have you take her off of my hands” followed by a hearty laugh :) ). With that, we figured it would just be a quick announcement and a few plans made to get the rest taken care of. However, looking back, we made an interesting decision… since she was born December 3rd, 1968, and I was born December 7th, 1967, we thought it would be cute to have our wedding be between those two dates. Little did we realize that trying to get married in December would be one of the most challenging things to pull of, and with so little time, it would be virtually impossible to book a church or reception area. We decided, though, that we wanted to have that little tradition, so we both said “OK, let’s shoot for December 5th, 1992. That will give us a whole year to prepare, no pressure, and lots of time to get everything in place.”

What would follow would be one of the most defining, and I’ll dare say, necessary years of both our lives, and just how fateful the decision to wait a year to actually get married would be… but that story, my friends, will have to wait for another day :).

Where Do We Go From Here?

I’m reaching a point where I have to admit… my blog is suffering from an identity crisis. What is the ultimate purpose of this thing? Am I blogging for myself? For others? For my posterity? What drives the topics that I choose? Is this a Personal Finance blog? Is it a Religious or Philosophical blog? Is it a Life Hack blog? Is it a “share quirky stories about your family” blog? At the moment, it seems to be “all of the above”, but there’s definitely a trend developing, and I’ll have to see what I want to do about that trend.

First, I’ve gone back to see many of my posts and there seems to be two main angles that get the most stage time, Personal Finance and General Philosophy/Life Hacking. Some could say that these are two sides of the same coin, and I guess in a way, they actually are.

Personal Finance interests me because I see it as a major problem in many people’s lives. I realize I may not be the best example for people as to how I got to where I am today. Let’s face it, telling the world “I worked for Cisco for 10 years, and I got lots of stock options” doesn’t offer much inspiration. It's also not been terribly relevant for the past several years, as it can be said that the glory days for that stock have long since passed. However, it is a hope that the things that I am doing today (focusing on thrifty decisions, placing a truer emphasis on value rather than cost, and letting go of a sense of “Stuffitis”) may very well resonate with others, and I do find that there are areas I do enjoy talking about and perhaps learning and sharing some newer insights.

Life oft-times revolves around our actions and the way that we see the world. I am an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The process of living as a member of that community informs many of my life decisions. Still, there are many things in my life that I do and that I find pleasure in doing, and just want to have make my life better and more effective, that are not necessarily 100% wrapped up in the Gospel or in the scriptures. Many times, of course, there are efficiencies of life that I have learned and that I practice that have come totally from the Gospel and understanding and applying the scriptures to my life. Thus these are areas I want to talk about and encourage others to, if not discuss, at least consider, while providing firm application of the ideas and ideals, and why and how they are effective (and sometimes, how I’ve found them not to be effective without some personal tweaks).

At the end of the day, I have to decide who and what this blog is actually for. Is this blog for external viewers, and do I write this blog for you? Or is this more of an online journal that I’m making public, and in the end, is all of this really just being written for me? While I enjoy writing and pondering ideas, I enjoy it more when I feel there might be some other people who could benefit from what I have to say. I’m not so arrogant as to think that my ideas will somehow revolutionize the world, but it’s possible I may inspire someone, and they may choose to look at how they do things a little differently.

This blog is also an “Accountability Partner”, where I put my ideals out there, and let the site, and the people who view it, take a little piece of that effort and record it for themselves in their thoughts and their hearts. It encourages me to think that people may actually come back and say “so, did you follow through on what you said you were going to do?” That’s encouraging, and it makes me want to keep striving. Partially because I want to move forward anyway, but also because it invests my ego just a little bit to say “I wrote it, and I put it out for the world to see… am I strong enough to live up to what I said I’d do? And if I’m not… am I brave enough to admit I was wrong?” It’s easy to crow when you do something that looks and feels great, when you have an accomplishment to post about. It’s another feeling entirely when you have to “eat crow”; admit that an idea you had, an approach you tried, an opinion you harbored, was actually wrong, ill advised, or just plain didn’t work out. My goal is to actually post successes and failures, the achievements and the shortcomings. If I feel I’m right about something, I’ll try to explain why I think I’m right. If I mess up, or otherwise don’t succeed, I want to hold myself accountable here.

Thus I guess the answer to my title question (Where Do We Go From Here?) is “where I’m already going, and let the chips fall where they may". Not everything I write will be fun, not everything will be informative, and not everything will somehow have some deep cosmic meaning. What it will do, however, is give me a way to put down my thoughts, examine my motives, and keep vigil as to the ideals I seem to profess having. Likewise, it will give me a chance to keep some thoughts, goals, and projects at the forefront of my thinking, and hopefully allow others to either give me encouragement to keep at it, or to say to themselves “Hey, now that’s something that I want to do!” Either way, I’ll be here for you (and me :) ).

From Asleep to Enraged in 10 Seconds!!!

OK, I admit it, I’m probably one who needs a little work on this particular attribute. I’m a relatively high strung guy, and I tend to get excited about stuff and I’m the King of hyper-motivation when it comes to getting some things done. It’s one of the reasons I work well as a Scoutmaster; I’m little more than a kid in a grown-up’s body, plus I have the emotional energy to match it many times. This is great when the emotions and the circumstances are positive. It also, however can be a huge negative when the emotions and circumstances are negative. In short, I tend to overreact to bad news, especially when it relates to members of my family.

The recent challenge du jour has been in regards to homework. For the most part, my kids are good students; generally bright, articulate, and get things done when they need to be… however, we seem to have run into a rough patch when it comes to one child's math class… they're looking to be getting a C.

WHAT?!!

Now, understand, I wouldn’t mind if the issue was struggling with Math and that was the best they were able to do. I certainly wasn’t a Math wiz when I was younger, so I got my share of C’s, too. That’s not what’s got me up in arms. What has me so frustrated and agro about all this is that the reasons the grade is so low is because of missing assignments, and a fairly big project that needed to be done on the computer at school, a lost password, and no mention of the fact until it was too late. THIS is what set me off.

I’m a firm believer in letting people do what they need to do in the manner that best works for them. I also realize that my way isn’t necessarily the best way for everyone. I discovered when I went back to school full time in 2003 that my peak learning hours were between 4:00 AM and 8:00 AM, with a gradual drop off from there and a real wall being hit around 2:00 PM. Thus, I can understand if another way of doing things needs to be done, as long as it gets done. However, it looks like that “getting done” isn’t happening, even with Mom cajoling and pushing. Thus, now it is time for Dad to get involved.

I know Christina tends to dread bringing these situations up with me, because I’m not one who handles situations like this in a cool manner. See, I tend to get over emotional about stuff like this because it was a lackadaisical attitude and a sloppy and disorganized approach to life that doomed me to the lower reaches of GPA during my middle and high school years. I vowed I would not let my kids do the same thing. Thus, I tend to fly off the handle when it comes to stuff like this. You’d think I’d be empathetic and understanding, but you’d be wrong, oh so very, very wrong!

See, I’m one of those people that abhor and react most violently regarding others to the traits I most recognize in myself, especially the ones I greatly dislike:

I know I’m disorganized.
I know I procrastinate.
I know that I rely way too heavily on a “fly by the seat of my pants and wing it” philosophy in my personal and professional life.

I’m also trying very hard to change those aspects about me and my life, sometimes successfully, sometimes not so much. However, I can spot it in anyone else a mile away, and I am swift and merciless when it comes to dealing with it in others. Yes, I am aware that that makes me a world class and monumental hypocrite, but I’ve come to appreciate the fact that my existence at times is best exemplified when I am a warning sign to others (LOL!). In other words, my response very often is “shape up, unless you want to end up like ME!!!”

This is my way of apologizing to everyone for waking them out of a sound sleep on Monday night while Mom and I discussed this particular issue, and to also apologize to one child who received a moderately rude awakening and a fairly stern talking to about how we were going to be allocating their time for the next several weeks, until the end of the semester. This child was informed that they have now been assigned a micro-manager for their schoolwork… ME!!! It also means that they are going to have to get used to a different way of turning work in, as it has to be proofed and initialed by me before it goes out the door, and the teacher in question will know that I will be keeping tabs and following up. Here’s hoping that good and thorough work up front will prove to be the path of least resistance.

I’m sure it will be much more favorable compared to "psycho daddy" as a homework warden (LOL!).

Madd Money: Three Cheers for the EMERGENCY FUND!!!

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a fan of the Ramsey Baby Steps, and the one that I’m the biggest fan of right now is his third Baby Step, where you fully fund an emergency fund with three to six months of expenses (we have taken it to the out edge and have six months of actual income set aside). The whole point for having the Emergency Fund is so that you have a rainy day fund, because, inevitably, it will rain!

It’s important to decide what actually constitutes an emergency. This is one of those grey areas; some people will only look at the life or death situations, and some are more liberal when it comes to defining an emergency. Well, Christina made the call that what happened this past weekend in our van constituted an emergency, and we acted accordingly. What happened was I brought five young men up to Cutter Scout Reservation for the Order of the Arrow Ordeal weekend. My wife’s van was the only vehicle that could seat everyone, but even with the van, everyone and their gear was piled in tightly. When we got to the twisty and winding part of Hwy 236 (the one leading from Castle Rock to Big Basin in the Santa Cruz Mountains), I heard one of the boys say “Excuse me, Mr Larsen, I think I’m... {SPLAT!!!}”.

Yep, one of the boys got carsick and let loose. The resulting smell caused another boy to get nauseous and lose it, but thankfully he lasted until I could pull over and get the van door open and him outside of the van. Needless to say, the rest of the ride up, even with as much of a clean up as we could do, was not pleasant, and while the boys spent the lion's share of the weekend participating in the various activities associated with Ordeal weekend, I spent my time pulling out seats and floor mats and scrubbing down all of the surface areas with hot water and TSP, while also using a tin full of white sage and burning it like incense in the car in the hope of killing the odor (white sage is used for purification in native american traditions... if anything needed to be purified, it was the smell inside of the van!). No such luck. We were able to mask it pretty well and the drive back was tolerable, but we kept the rear windows vented and the sun roof open the whole way home to bring in fresh air.

I had called Christina to warn her, and then held the phone a good foot from my ear to let her vent (this is her beloved van, after all, in which she has to drive kids various places, and carpool with… thus this was not good news to her at all). When I got home, and she got into the car to check it out, she said “I really appreciate you scrubbing down the car as well as you did, I know it wasn’t a lot of fun… but I can still smell it. I’m sorry, but we have to get the car detailed”. Fortunately, a good friend of ours (who is a Police officer in one of the nearby towns) told us of a place that does forensic level car detailing… meaning they often do clean-up of the police cars, which see their share of incidents involving not just vomit, but urine, excrement and blood… and sometime all four at the same time! Hey, if it’s good enough for Police departments, it’s good enough for us! Thus with that recommendation, we contacted them and asked them to do a number on the car, from stem to stern internally. I must admit, the car could have used this anyway, but this particular event pushed it from the "nice to do" category to "absolutely essential" one.

It wasn't cheap, but it was worth every penny. The good thing is, this is exactly why we have an emergency fund. Granted, it’s not really what I wanted to spend the money on, but then, when you have an emergency fund, it’s there for any situation you don’t really want to spend the money on. That’s what emergencies are! The great thing is that we will be able to just pay for it and then use our allotted for savings to refill the emergency fund. That’s one of our mandatory emergency valve rules; when the emergency fund gets tapped for any reason, and it dips below the agreed to threshold, all other savings and investment options are temporarily halted until we’re back to the desired threshold. The good news is, it looks like we will only need one pay period to get back to our agreed to level.

Today, I am singing some serious praises to the Emergency Fund. However, Christina is probably singing even louder than I am (LOL!). For the record, honey, I’m sorry, and I hope this will make up for it. From here on out, it’s a hard rule of two drivers, two cars, a door seat for every passenger… and Dramamine shall be consumed by everyone in the car before departure :). Let’s just say that this is one emergency I want to ensure *never* happens again!

Viva la difference!!!!!

You have to love the difference between how teenage boys and teenage girls think… or perhaps it’s the difference between how teenage boy leaders and teenage girl leaders think and direct (LOL!).

In my role as Scoutmaster for my Church’s Boy Scout Troop, I am effectively a “spare wheel” when it come to leadership regarding our Young Men. This has been a standard procedure in our Ward for many years; the Scoutmaster, any assistant Scoutmaster’s and Venturing Advisors are adjuncts to the young men’s organization and spend the third (Priesthood) block with the Young Men in their classes. This is a long way of explaining why I was teaching a lesson on Sunday about “choosing attributes in your future Eternal Companion” to the teenage boys in our church.

This is one of those classic lessons where you want to get across the idea that there are many important things to consider when you are going to be choosing a mate for time and all eternity. Hey, it’s a big deal! Sometimes, I get the feeling that boys aren’t really thinking about those things (OK, unfair comparison here because, at their age, I totally was thinking about those things, probably way too soon than was healthy, so I have to bust myself on that one and move on :) ).

Part of this lesson had us writing on the whiteboard the attributes that we wanted to have. Needless to say, the first half dozen attributes were all physical ones (well, at least the physical ones any teenage boy would outwardly express in a Priesthood class; let’s just say that many of them didn’t make it on the board (LOL!). We determined the following from a smattering of responses:

Tall
Athletic
Attractive
Blonde/Brunette/Redhead/Black hair (there was no consensus, and there was some love for all of the choices :) )
Not too EMO (that was from my son, who apparently doesn’t want any additional competition in the EMO department (have I mentioned my son is twelve (LOL!) )
Enjoys sports
Strong Testimony
Intelligent
Likes children

And so on. To their credit, having a testimony and being active in the church was important, but from the vantage point of this discussion, it was sort of an “oh yea, and that” by comparison.

I found out later that day while we were attending the baptism of one of Christina’s primary children that the Young Women had the same lesson. I walked into their classroom and there, on the board, were their answers to the same questions. Here’s what they wrote down:

Returned Missionary
Strong Testimony
Active in Church
Honors his Priesthood
Good Provider
Compassionate
Intelligent
Wants children (notice the subtle difference there :) )
Strong
Not too short

Now, to be 100% objective, I did not sit in the Young Women’s class, and I did not see what may have gone on before hand as to how they polled for the responses, but I cannot help but notice that the weight of the answers was the inverse to the Young Men answers. The Young Women started out their list with strong spiritual aspects and attributes, and then ended with a couple of “Oh yeah, cute, well built and tall would be nice”. It’s entirely possible that the Young Women’s leaders wanted to have them emphasize the spiritual aspects before even mentioning the physical aspects… or again, it’s just a real manifestation of the difference between how the Young Men and Young Women think…

Thus, as a service to my Young Men’s quorums, use the list and cultivate the areas the Young Women really care about. It will be to your benefit. To the Young Women… now you know how our Young Men really think… are any of you surprised (LOL!)? Still, please be patient with them; they are young, they are naïve, and in many cases they may be just as nervous to say what they really think as anyone else. I do have faith that they will grow up, they will mature, they will ultimately serve missions, and I’ll dare say the lion’s share of them will return with the attributes you are after. At that point, I highly recommend using kind words and a strong net :).

Madd Money: New Hero Rides into Town... Meet Tightwad Tod

JD over at Get Rich slowly gets the props for posting about this guy first, but I have to say I love the premise and I'm looking forward to reading more from him.

Tightwad Tod is the blog of Tod Marks, a senior editor over at at Consumer Reports. While much of Consumer Reports site is paid content, many of the blogs are available for free, and Tightwad Tod's is one of the free ones :).

Tod Marks is a senior editor at Consumer Reports, and he's been writing about how to save money for 17 years. It will be interesting to see what he has to say, and what opportunities might come out of reading his suggestions :).

Scoutmaster Mike: Seeing Things The Way We Are

This weekend, my son and I will be heading up to the Santa Cruz Mountains to participate in the Ordeal Weekend for our Order of Arrow Lodge. It’s an event we have done together twice, and now this will be our third time together. Last year, he went through for himself to receive Ordeal membership. Last spring, he served as an Elangomat (meaning Friend or Guide) to others going through the Ordeal for the first time. While this was happening, I was in another part of the camp going through the process to receive the Vigil Honor (and no, I’ll not tell what that process is, if you want to know, join and get there yourself ;) ). This weekend, Nick will be acting as an Elangomat again, and he has the chance to seal his membership in Order of the Arrow as a Brotherhood member.What's more, he will be an Elangomat for fellow members of his Troop, so this time, he will actually be leading his own friends through the process.

So what does the title of this post have to do with the preceding paragraph? It always interests me that we have opportunities where we can get away from it all, think, ponder, pray, meditate, and learn a little bit more about ourselves and where we fit into the world. These actions allow us to open our eyes just a little bit more, and they let us see a little more clearly what we as people need to do. It’s been a year since my son was elected to be an Ordeal candidate. In that time, he has learned a bit more about what it means to serve and be part of a bigger group, and to contribute to the success of that group. I’m proud of him and what he has been able to do in a short time. By contrast, my own involvement over the last year has changed somewhat with the receiving of the Vigil Honor. With it comes a greater expectation, and through that expectation, I’ve determined that I need to be more aware and alert to the things that I need to do and the example I need to set.

As a member of the Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints, I am often instructed and counseled to read my scriptures daily. Oftentimes, I have had to ask myself “why am I being asked to rehash things I’ve already read a bunch of times before?” I’ve come to see that it is because there really is no one world, one absolute reality, but billions of them, and each reality is informed by the viewpoint and the vision of the individual living that reality. Unlike a stone crag that juts out into the ocean, impervious to all that buffet it, human beings are really very small boats that have very lightweight anchors. We get blown about all over the place. Likewise, we are also very swift and maneuverable; we can change course very easily and maneuver very quickly and with great agility even the most treacherous of areas. Thus the words that we are taught, and the counsel that we always seek those words, is inspired because of the fact that we are such lightweight and agile but easily blown about vessels. We need to be reminded where our home Port is, and we need to be reminded of what the windows on the bridge are supposed to see.

This weekend, a new batch of boys will be coming up to find out a little bit more about who they are and how *they* see the world. Here’s hoping it will be a good experience for them, and for us as well.

Shedding of Innocent Stuff: Releasing Captive Books Back Out Into The Wild

The stack for consideration to be downsized.


The ones that Powell's actually wants.

This is a hard post for me to write, it really is. My books are a reflection of my personality, and I think it's safe to say that for many people, there is a certain connection that they have to the various books that they have accumulated over the years. Jerry Seinfeld did a riff on this a decade or so ago where he poked fun at people holding onto books as though they were big game trophies. I laughed at the comparison for two reasons. First is because it's funny, but second... is because it's so painfully true.

We live in a modest sized house that is considered large for the area where we live (I thought it was quite small when I first viewed it, but then I grew up in Danville, CA where the average house is somewhere around 3000 sq. ft.). Having come off of living in San Francisco for several years, though, we were definitely stepping up in total house and land space. Still, with an active family of five, space comes at a premium. The choices are to expand the house to store stuff, or find a way to let the stuff back out into the wild. Those who follow this feature know I'm dedicated to the latter :). More to the point, I'm trying to practice an ethic of either library borrowing of books (hey, my tax dollars go to support a fantastic library in my town, so shouldn't I take advantage of it?!), or the notion of "if I like something enough to keep it, i need to like it enough to be willing to let something else go".

When I decided to tackle this particular demon, I figured the best way to handle it was to get every single book that we owned in the house out on the floor, This very act is a huge catalyst, because it forces you to take action. Every single book was up for consideration, nothing was sacred... OK, that's not entirely true. Each family member has their own scripture quad. Those are considered sacred and those will not be parted with. The several BYU Religion course manuals that I own will also not be parted with. The collections related to the teachings of the Presidents of the Church... I have all of them, and they will not be gotten rid of, and certain key commentary books that I love, such as James E. Talmage's Jesus the Christ, Le Grand Richards A Marvelous Work and a Wonder, Neal A. Maxwell's All these Things Shall Give Thee Experience shall always have a place in my home. I'm old enough now where I actually know people who have written books, and they have either given them to me with personal inscriptions, or I have a few older titles signed by the author. Those, of course, stay. Just about everything else, though, was fair game :). After I put everything out on the floor, I sorted on topic and grouping of titles. After sorting, I applied my "Pillars of Stuffitis" with some unique caveatrs this time:

1. Were the books that I had up to date and accurate?
2. Were they books that I actively read or considered likely I would actively read them in the next two years?
3. Were there more comprehensive and up to date details about the topic available online and from better sources than the books I owned?
4. Was there really and truly a likelihood that any of these titles would be something my children would be looking to read in the next two to three years?

With that, any books that passed at least two of the four tests above were returned to the shelves. What remained were titles I'd need to consider carefully:

Scouting publications: Generally speaking, I keep all up to date publications and purge any that are out of date. My lone exception is my Order of the Arrow handbook. That's the one that I got when I first joined O.A., and I refuse to update it or part with it. Also, general purpose externally published scouting books I will keep, no matter the age.

Native American Studies: Many of the books that I have are redundant, woefully out of date and/or are missing up to date information. Also, I'm doing away with books that reinforce old stereotypes. Plus, with so many great sites online dedicated to this purpose, I want to support their efforts. Still, I kept a number of books related to anthropology and essays about life among the various tribes from first hand account, as well as artwork books from artists such as George Caitlin, Karl Bodmer, photographic work by Edward Curtis, and contemporary artists such as James Bama and William Terpening. I also kept a couple of books that were collections of projects for Pow Wow craftwork. The rest I decided to let go of.

Music books: These are of two flavors, those with very "faddy" concepts and those with "timeless" content. I opted for the timeless ones in most cases, and purged the fads. Also, with sites like Guitar Alliance and other music specific sites that use media for their presentation, many of the printed books are becoming redundant. I'd much rather see a school music program make use of these than have them just collecting dust on my shelves.

Computer Books: This has been one of the bigger paradigm shifts for me. Due to sites like W3 Schools and others devoted to specific topics in computing, programming, systems and network administration, and having access to the O'Reilly Network for general content books online, the days of needing shelves of books to reference has become less necessary. As a matter of course, I still keep a certain number of books I consider essential, but they have shrunk *way* down from what I used to hang onto.

General Reference: A handful of good titles related to things like home repair, gardening, and various art and craft techniques, but a lot of repetition in what I had made it easy to shed a few of them. In addition, much of this content is much more up to date and relevant through online sites.

Children's Books: This isn't too hard for us, as we regularly purge books that will never be looked at again once the kids outgrow them. We hang onto some classics simply because they are all time favorites, but that's just a handful of titles.

The Classics: Here's where I'm going to be seen as a total "Philistine", but I'll say it... this was an area where we did a lot of pruning. I have come to the conclusion that, if I really want to read a Jane Austin novel or something from Alexandre Dumas, the library shelves are *overflowing* with these books. You practically trip over the number of copies of Herman Melville's Moby Dick that are on the shelves. Also, due to the fact that many schools assign these books for reading and make them available through school, it pretty much negates my being required to have them at home. I can just hear the people shouting "For shame, no Iliad or Oddysey or Aeneid?! No Cicero, Seneca, Plato or Socrates? No Shakespeare? No Milton? No Voltaire? No Hugo?" As of this past weekend, the answer is "no". Not because I don't find the books valuable, but because I decided that I will more than happily check the book out of the library if I get a major itch to get my Greek on (or fill in your language of choice).

College Textbooks: Really, no, I'm not likely going to be opening these again. Even if I do, there is typically better available writing on the subject available in many different resource locations. College textbooks are the real big game trophy hunting titles. Seeing as I was *not* a Math wiz as a kid, and seeing as I had to work my tail off for four straight semesters to bring my skill level up enough to complete Calculus, I absolutely kept that book on my shelf for all the world to see. "Why yes, I did make it through Calculus, why do you ask? Oh, I see, you are admiring my 800 page volume of Discrete Calculus of a Single Variable. Yes indeed, quite a ground breaking work... can I interest you in a vintage copy of Tindall's America, per chance?"... c'mon already (LOL!). News flash, by the time the kids are in their classes, they'll have their own textbooks to work through, and they'll be considerably more up to date than the dusty tomes I'm holding onto for swagger rights. Let it go and roam free. It's deserves it. What's more, it may still be relevant to another poor late teen or early adult that might find benefit from that particular title.

So some may ask, what was the final outcome of many of these tomes? A number of books went home with a good friend of mine to reinforce her home schooling curriculum for her kids. She was all over the collection of Lost Civilization books that I had; she saw them and just said "I'll take them all!", as well as some young reader titles that I had and the kids had fully outgrown. A number of books will be making their way to my favorite online used bookstore, Powell's in Portland, Oregon. What I love about Powells is that you can use their online interface, punch in the ISBN numbers, and within seconds, you will know which books they want and which ones they don't (yep, the don't pile is still pretty full, and the "wanted" list from Powells, while not massive, was certainly interesting). The small collection of books up top were the ones they wanted. The larger collection were books they didn't. Powells sends you a mailing slip where they pay the postage, and then they give you a store credit for titles that you want to get at a later date (I've already used their service a number of times in the past and found some terrific titles I might have passed on in other venues or purchasing them new).

Thus it's time for a plan B for a number of the books that were not claimed by my friend or by Powell's. Where they will ultimately go, that's hard to say. Once thing is for sure, these books will not be stuffed back into a closet, or thrown away (that's something I just can't do; it feels like I'm puting a beloved pet down). They wil find their way into the hands of readers who want to read them, at least if I have anything to say about it :).